It started good enough I think, but when it got to the end of Caden's conversation with Sam, it falls flat. It really lacks the emotion that it should have. And that was the problem. Sam's been hiding the fact that Caden's dad has been missing, and Caden just learned the truth. He should be ready to run out the door, grab Starlight and race back out into the world. But it just doesn't strike me as true when he does so.
This section is in major need of a rewrite, if anyone has a suggestion for improvement, please leave a comment and discuss below.
